Peshon L. Allen is a Wife, a Mother, a Worship Leader, an Army Veteran, an alumnus of AFN or American Forces Network in Germany and most importantly a Christian, a Believer in Jesus Christ.
As a seasoned, passionate broadcaster she is a born natural for the world of broadcasting, as she keeps her heart and fingers on the pulse of what’s going on in the world and communities around her. While stationed in Germany, she was a well sought-after worship leader, training and leading others in praise and worship and leading others to the Lord, teaching praise & worship workshops and the importance of hard work.
Peshon is passionate and in love with her Husband, Mr. Tyron Allen of 16 years, and loves and adores her two beautiful children, Samuel and Angelina Allen. Born and raised on the West Side of Chicago, Illinois, she quickly learned that hard work, education, determination and pit bull tenacity was key to having a better life. She holds a bachelor’s Degree in Theology and a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications and Journalism.
Her motto is, “It’s Never Too Late!” if you believe and have hope. Her heart and passion is to lead others to Christ and help people learn to live a better life.
If it were not for a fired heart leading
Me through cancer- I would have fallen
Into deep despair as the world around me
Continued and I was on pause, a silent inner pause,
As if nothing was real within me
Or the same, like a caterpillar trying to turn into a butterfly,
A butterfly with a million attempts to fly,
Waking up from surgery the only voice I wanted to hear
Was that of my child- my daughter dear,
Alone at night the pain felt as if it had reached deep within me,
To take the essence of my feminine,
Looking in a mirror the only thing I saw was a swollen
Scar in red iodine with it tracing my lips as if the lipstick
Failed them and met my chin, but I did not cry,
Then I began to heal, I felt a need to live,
To live without reigns, I wanted to fly in the wind,
To be caught only by the need to be free,
God seemed to take my hand and whisper,
This won’t be the end, and yet again you will begin,
And I stood up like many times before ready to do so,
Dusted myself off and with head held high I remembered
A line by my favorite poet, Angelou, and
I repeated it to myself, “ Still I rise, still I rise,”
The despair lifted and the light began to
Shine within my eyes and now as I sit
Here thinking about it all,
I thank all the poetic lines I have ever read,
I thank God for his love and for not leaving me,
I thank myself for having the grit to say,
I will survive.
By Melinda Cochrane
By: Melinda Cochrane - Contributing Writer
“A study in Psychological Medicine found that girls whose fathers left when they were between the ages of 0 and 5 were more likely to develop depressive symptoms in adolescence than those whose fathers left when they were between the ages of 5-10, and more likely than boys in both age groups.” Huffington Post (2013)
My father left me when I was four, and then again when he died about 12 years later. The memory of him walking out the door is emblazoned on my soul and spirit for the rest of my life. I sat at the front door as he looked my way and got into a car. His head bowed slightly in the realization that he was leaving me behind. I don’t think I even remembered who he was until I was to see him again a few years later. He passed away from progressive Multiple Sclerosis and throughout the funeral, I was lost as to what I should be feeling for someone I barely knew.
Around the age of 16, I began to feel a deep grief that I was incapable of understanding at the time. The loss had taken a long time to emerge from me. When I read the statistic above, my adolescent depression at this time began to make sense. I began missing school, was failing subjects when I’d currently been an honor's student. Things in my life seemed empty- something was missing was the only thing I felt. When it came to dating- I never knew what to look for or what men seemed to want from me as a young woman and much later. I didn’t get them for a very long time, but good men came in my life later who solved some of this for me.
But, for a very long time avoiding intimacy became a must for me out of fear of losing someone again. I never really understood that it was me who didn’t want to get too close. I always thought it was the person I was dating at the time.
My first serious relationship in university, which eventually ended led me to a severe bout of anorexia. I could not deal with the loss. Psychologists never made the connection between an absent father and a daughter’s emotions with other relationships. The knee-jerk response was to point at the need for me to control my emotions. I recovered from anorexia but I had not truly realized how significant an absent father in my life was. Then through a divorce, I began to discover who I was and why. I dealt with my own emotions as a woman. As a mother, I also had to become less egotistical about parental roles as well- in other words like a lot of women I have come to terms with my own level of denial - sometimes we have to give fathers space to parent their daughters too.
Feminism may have lost me somewhere when it came to believing that fathers don't matter.
A father is important to a daughter’s connections with others. I missed my father's presence in my life and I want every feminist to know this who would claim women don’t need men to raise children- or at least deny their importance. I am a different type of feminist. I never stopped missing my time with him- call what I feel if you wish- Pro-daddy time.
As more and more couples divorce, I keep wondering how young women will maneuver their way through their relationships as well- it has taken me a long time to get here.
We cannot forget to raise a daughter in the dualism of parenting. I am not saying that young women who are raised without a father will not be a success story. We have many examples of women who have. However, some feminists have never really reconciled the fact that in its pursuit of liberating all women- some have suffered thinking they need to be single to be strong and independent- we forgot to say- it is fine to do it together- it doesn’t take away you- it is fine to say- I need help.
“Today single motherhood is becoming more and more a societal norm than it ever was with 1 in 4 children under the age of 18- a total of about 17.2 million - are being raised without a father.” Singlemotherguide.com
I hope as the trend continues we consider all factors when it comes to our daughters and we mentor them to understand their relationships with men.
By: Melinda Cochrane - Contributing Writer
“ I'm an emotional person and that's who I am. I am passionate about things about life and I will always be.” Justin Trudeau - Top Ten with the PM
Watching Justin Trudeau’s Year in Review from my sofa in Canada left me as a woman reassured that my emotional and passionate side did not hinder my leadership ability or my success. He was describing his feelings toward the death of a Canadian icon- Gord Downie. His none apologetic stance for his emotions and remorse left me encouraged as a woman.
Women are often described as over emotional when others feel uncomfortable with the same range of emotions Trudeau showed openly. As women, most of us can recall someone at one point telling us were overemotional or overreacting and the worse label ‘crazy’ for showing how we feel. When watching him so willingly show emotion- I wondered if he were a female would it have been perceived as endearing and would I have felt the same way about it.
As a passionate woman, there have been many times my emotions have come out in front of others about the things I love. The reaction by some is a positive affirmation, but others seem to stare at me wondering why I am so passionate.
These types of reactions to female emotion are a direct result of how we teach males to deal with emotions. As a society, we have taught them to hide tears, to not show feelings and then when they don’t, we call them ‘cold and uncaring.” For some males, this sentiment toward emotion then permeates their own reactions toward our expression of emotion. We are as a society creating a crazy-making situation and as a result, couples are unable to cope with one another’s range of feelings. Perhaps, it has also resulted in higher divorce rates- if we don’t get one another- how can we stay together.
“ Men are socialized to be disconnected from their emotions… that it is feminine...” Harris O’Malley, The Washington Post.
But, how do we remedy this? How do we change the societal expectations of the past? Maybe, men like Trudeau, can lead the way. Perhaps, allowing men space to openly express their pain will allow them to better understand us. As the show ended, his eyes filled with tears left me reassured as a woman that the next time I feel passionate in public or otherwise- it does not diminish my abilities and it does not mean I am crazy.
By Melinda Cochrane - melindacochraneinternationalbo oks.com
To watch the full interview follow this link.
https://www.ctvnews.ca/politic s/top-10-with-the-pm-full- interview-transcript-1.3732947
By: Melinda Cochrane - Contributing Writer
“In the past 5 years, female violent crime has risen by 12 percent, four times the rate among men…” The Independent UK.
The words we use can be a catalyst for our healing or they can act to counter-act any positives. Positive words create a positive force around us. Often as women, we are bombarded by words that are all too often negating our experiences. Media has used and manipulated popular derogatory words to make us either feel ashamed of our bodies or to make us defensive, which acts to divide rather than heal gender relationships.
A word can build a woman up or it can break us down and too often as I turn on music these days and television- the words I hear do nothing but make me feel as if young women out there are being manipulated to act in ways they are both unsure of and uncomfortable with. The manipulation has now extended into what I will call the Violent girl syndrome- an encouraged behavior for young women to be violent.
The first time I noted this was when I turned on the television, just to catch a show and a woman was pouring hot water over a male character- a comedy. It left me feeling shocked and made me wonder if the use of negative words and images like this in the media was also creating a confusion in young women in how to treat the opposite sex and as a result themselves spiritually.
Young women should be independent and confident but we should not use them to hurt young men. The feminist trend that is occurring is a positive one but at the same time a scary one for men. We all know good men and perhaps we should keep this steadfast in our minds as the media overflows with negative male examples. Our words could also create a violent attitude toward men- we should be conscious of this as well. True equality comes when all people respect one another. Young women and men are perhaps being wrongly told that they should be aggressive but in reality, we want them to be assertive. Assertive females are not violent and they do not act verbally or physically violent toward males. We must keep the rules for women as the same.
Records are also showing that violence among young women has increased. Feminism in its positive has given us our ability to do anything we want. The world has increasingly become kinder to females- although the recent harassment cases would suggest otherwise. These cases are important and shedding light on it is very important. But equally important is to shed light on what the media does toward women as well. How the repeated use of negative messages, the continued body shaming words and all those things that go with being females are also the direct results of a society that is determined to further divide male from female. We need to move toward healing so that our genders can act in unity. We must show young women that to be strong means also to think first before acting in a negative way as well.
As we fight for awareness as women with the Me Too movement, perhaps we should also give males the room to speak about what is called the disposable male trend. A trend where men no longer feel wanted or cared for in society. As more and more young men join fundamentalist groups, we must realize as feminist that to change things- we need to make males who are good and caring feel valued as well. We must change the vocabulary for women so they do not feel they need to be violent in approach or attitude toward men while at the same time we give men the space to say, “ I am not like this. All men are not alike. I feel disposed of and unneeded.” By giving males this space too we end any violent trend that occurring subconsciously toward males. We can start by changing the words we use to heal.
Changing the language words we use in media, in music and in our everyday interactions with one another will create a more positive trend and may close the divide that is occurring and move us toward healing. Freedom of speech is important but we must also use our words to heal us all.
By Melinda Cochrane - For more about the author - melindacochraneinternationalbooks.com
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