In the world of writing it is important to keep perspective. I think being grounded will take you further. I think politeness and a smile probably goes a long way as well.
If you cannot write for the love of it- the service it provides others and not the end goal of money and the number of published works- I truly don’t know why anyone would write. It is a painstaking task to sell books, to get your work out there and to keep going. It isn’t the number of book sales or money that makes me write- it is simple for me- Does it help anyone? Does it make me happy? Does it make me smile?
If my words do not help anyone- I get no fulfillment from it.As a writer trying to publish, the most important lesson I learned is to be humble and graceful- everyone has a story that is equally as important as yours- you are not necessarily going to be applauded- and that is fine- do it for you.
No one owes you anything- perspective in life is important. Once you lose perspective you become aggressive and angry. This will not attract buyers or publishers. I mean would you buy a book from a growling person who does not see the value in words themselves. Words are magical powerful entities that can change and alter life. They can give hope, understanding, and compassion. They can alter destiny- think of Martin Luther King’s I have a dream speech, it is the words that linger long after into history- into the hearts of many and ring true with hope to this day. To me, if you call yourself a writer, to have your words remembered like this and to know that people may have felt them is a reward far greater than money or a positive review- your service is your review.
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Margo Lovett is the creator & host of Her Business – Her Voice – Her Conversation, a radio show streaming on Bshaniradio.com & I Heart Radio World Wide. Her Business is a global resource for the baby boomer female who will or has reinvented herself to become a speaker, author, and entrepreneur.
A “Reinvented One” herself, Margo’s first book will launch in mid-September 2017, followed by a chapter in the anthology Women Inspiring Nations, out in January 2018.
26 years of employment at one company ended, Margo had to reinvent myself. With a mortgage, legal concerns, and a small savings, she followed her passionate hobby of the last 15 years – internet radio. Thank God for the ability to hire an exceptional coach / strategist, and begin the journey from hobby to becoming an entrepreneur.
Peshon L. Allen is a Wife, a Mother, a Worship Leader, an Army Veteran, an alumnus of AFN or American Forces Network in Germany and most importantly a Christian, a Believer in Jesus Christ.
As a seasoned, passionate broadcaster she is a born natural for the world of broadcasting, as she keeps her heart and fingers on the pulse of what’s going on in the world and communities around her. While stationed in Germany, she was a well sought-after worship leader, training and leading others in praise and worship and leading others to the Lord, teaching praise & worship workshops and the importance of hard work.
Peshon is passionate and in love with her Husband, Mr. Tyron Allen of 16 years, and loves and adores her two beautiful children, Samuel and Angelina Allen. Born and raised on the West Side of Chicago, Illinois, she quickly learned that hard work, education, determination and pit bull tenacity was key to having a better life. She holds a bachelor’s Degree in Theology and a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications and Journalism.
Her motto is, “It’s Never Too Late!” if you believe and have hope. Her heart and passion is to lead others to Christ and help people learn to live a better life.
If it were not for a fired heart leading
Me through cancer- I would have fallen
Into deep despair as the world around me
Continued and I was on pause, a silent inner pause,
As if nothing was real within me
Or the same, like a caterpillar trying to turn into a butterfly,
A butterfly with a million attempts to fly,
Waking up from surgery the only voice I wanted to hear
Was that of my child- my daughter dear,
Alone at night the pain felt as if it had reached deep within me,
To take the essence of my feminine,
Looking in a mirror the only thing I saw was a swollen
Scar in red iodine with it tracing my lips as if the lipstick
Failed them and met my chin, but I did not cry,
Then I began to heal, I felt a need to live,
To live without reigns, I wanted to fly in the wind,
To be caught only by the need to be free,
God seemed to take my hand and whisper,
This won’t be the end, and yet again you will begin,
And I stood up like many times before ready to do so,
Dusted myself off and with head held high I remembered
A line by my favorite poet, Angelou, and
I repeated it to myself, “ Still I rise, still I rise,”
The despair lifted and the light began to
Shine within my eyes and now as I sit
Here thinking about it all,
I thank all the poetic lines I have ever read,
I thank God for his love and for not leaving me,
I thank myself for having the grit to say,
I will survive.
By Melinda Cochrane
By: Melinda Cochrane - Contributing Writer
“A study in Psychological Medicine found that girls whose fathers left when they were between the ages of 0 and 5 were more likely to develop depressive symptoms in adolescence than those whose fathers left when they were between the ages of 5-10, and more likely than boys in both age groups.” Huffington Post (2013)
My father left me when I was four, and then again when he died about 12 years later. The memory of him walking out the door is emblazoned on my soul and spirit for the rest of my life. I sat at the front door as he looked my way and got into a car. His head bowed slightly in the realization that he was leaving me behind. I don’t think I even remembered who he was until I was to see him again a few years later. He passed away from progressive Multiple Sclerosis and throughout the funeral, I was lost as to what I should be feeling for someone I barely knew.
Around the age of 16, I began to feel a deep grief that I was incapable of understanding at the time. The loss had taken a long time to emerge from me. When I read the statistic above, my adolescent depression at this time began to make sense. I began missing school, was failing subjects when I’d currently been an honor's student. Things in my life seemed empty- something was missing was the only thing I felt. When it came to dating- I never knew what to look for or what men seemed to want from me as a young woman and much later. I didn’t get them for a very long time, but good men came in my life later who solved some of this for me.
But, for a very long time avoiding intimacy became a must for me out of fear of losing someone again. I never really understood that it was me who didn’t want to get too close. I always thought it was the person I was dating at the time.
My first serious relationship in university, which eventually ended led me to a severe bout of anorexia. I could not deal with the loss. Psychologists never made the connection between an absent father and a daughter’s emotions with other relationships. The knee-jerk response was to point at the need for me to control my emotions. I recovered from anorexia but I had not truly realized how significant an absent father in my life was. Then through a divorce, I began to discover who I was and why. I dealt with my own emotions as a woman. As a mother, I also had to become less egotistical about parental roles as well- in other words like a lot of women I have come to terms with my own level of denial - sometimes we have to give fathers space to parent their daughters too.
Feminism may have lost me somewhere when it came to believing that fathers don't matter.
A father is important to a daughter’s connections with others. I missed my father's presence in my life and I want every feminist to know this who would claim women don’t need men to raise children- or at least deny their importance. I am a different type of feminist. I never stopped missing my time with him- call what I feel if you wish- Pro-daddy time.
As more and more couples divorce, I keep wondering how young women will maneuver their way through their relationships as well- it has taken me a long time to get here.
We cannot forget to raise a daughter in the dualism of parenting. I am not saying that young women who are raised without a father will not be a success story. We have many examples of women who have. However, some feminists have never really reconciled the fact that in its pursuit of liberating all women- some have suffered thinking they need to be single to be strong and independent- we forgot to say- it is fine to do it together- it doesn’t take away you- it is fine to say- I need help.
“Today single motherhood is becoming more and more a societal norm than it ever was with 1 in 4 children under the age of 18- a total of about 17.2 million - are being raised without a father.” Singlemotherguide.com
I hope as the trend continues we consider all factors when it comes to our daughters and we mentor them to understand their relationships with men.